i am back from running across the country with some wizards!
(for those not keeping up, for the month of june in the year 2007, i hit the road with flagship wizard rockers harry and the potters to help carry stuff, sell stuff, help make them sound nice, and to sell my own sock puppet portraits and see our grrrreat nation.)
we ran all the way from brooklyn to los angeles, rocking out every night at breakneck speeds of mightiness and with the unbridled fury of boundless awesomeness.
‘how was your trip across the country with the wizards?’ a curious and intrepid young sailor or spelunker might ask.
‘very excellent, indeed,‘ i would answer.
which would be a colossal but politically necessary lie…
no it wouldn’t! i had the greatest fun rocking across the country with the wizards. we met wandicorn, and all manner of exciting magical creatures, we ate mightily in bustling bistros, we swam heartily in crashing oceans, and we slept soundly on the floors of sprawling greatness. we blearily trekked through arduous waste lands and yelled at the hoover dam while being attacked by swarms of evil flies and then eating good salads. we rode roller coasters and convinced everyone else that yelling constantly is fun. we thought that andrew might pee himself again and again (and again). and we met wandicorn.
yes, wandicorn, the majestic and mysterious beast, was born amongst us. somewhere between atlanta and athens we began to hear a faint murmur, deep in the night, buried somewhere between a ‘save ginny’ shirt and a foam finger….
‘wandiii…’ it would cry meakly. ‘wandiiiii.’
and then one day, unpacking tee-shirts, we found a strange little magical creature all covered in goo in the form of a talking tooth brush. the hard-living party-animal mascot of harry and the potters came crawling from the enchanted van and into our waiting arms – “WANDICORN IS BORN,” we all cried out simultaneously (which was a totally weird moment). it wasn’t long before he was teaching us merry songs with his lemon shaker and kazoo and convincing us to party harder. and harder. and then one night while we were partying ’til we puked, wandi evolved from toothbrush into his true and most splendid of shining forms – the fully evolved WANDICORN. half squid, half wand, half pegasus, half flux capacitor, half claw hand, and a quarter panda. wandi lives for the party, wandi is in constant pain.
so yeah, the trip truly was magical.
this here nation is full of lots of amazing people, and it’s quite refreshing to meet bunches of them.
and, LO!, how we ate… like five ferocious badgers devouring delicious assorted pies. we were truly a sandstorm of unbridled eating mayhem whenever food was put before us. paulie knows where ALL the best hot dogs are at. and some pretty serious pancakes, too. my eating call sign is ‘maximum overdrive’. joe was the machine, but i’m thinking we should rename him to the ‘the big sleep,’ as every time joe eats, joe sleeps.
anyways – yes – great fun. and now i am superhappy to be back in the brooklyn world as it exists adjacent to dino-skeleton island. i look forward to frolicking at camp and rollicking with my fellow monsterfacers. plans are handily afoot, an arm, and a manatee for not only some big shows coming up, but also lots of new songs and installments of monsterface tee veeeeeeeeeee!
I want to go on tour.
Oh, to be a traveling musician. What a life.
BHB, you can go on tour with me. I plan on touring sometime, without the pesky restraints of having a band because, well, I don’t have a band. But I totally want to go on tour.
Detroit-style Coney Island hot dogs FTW!